


Then, Now, Always

by SmoakingGreenArrow



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 09:13:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12129249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmoakingGreenArrow/pseuds/SmoakingGreenArrow
Summary: Oliver tells Felicity about his past and what she has meant to him. Set after Season 3. For the Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon prompt: Silver Lining.





	Then, Now, Always

Felicity’s legs and lungs burned as she tried to keep up with Oliver. His head swung from side to side as he maneuvered over every rock, root, and tree branch that stood in their way, not slipping even once. “Oliver,” Felicity breathed, “Slow down.”

Oliver turned around to look at her from his rock in the middle of the stream. She hadn’t even taken her first step onto the rocks yet. Quickly making his way back to her, Oliver smiled. “Sorry,” he mumbled. He was trying not to laugh, and she glared at him. “Not really used to navigating a forest when I’m not running from or to something.” He pulled a leaf from her hair as she took a sip of water and caught her breath. “Want a lift?” He asked, gesturing to the stream. Felicity smiled, reaching out to him. He bent down and waited as she climbed onto his back.

Walking more carefully now, Oliver avoided all of the slippery and loose rocks, knowing exactly where to step as if he’d crossed this stream a million times before. Felicity rested her chin on his shoulder, her arms and legs loose around his neck and waist, trusting that he wasn’t going to drop her. She watched in awe as he focused his attention on the water at his feet, never hesitating in his strides. “You haven’t really told me very about Lian Yu.” She said, keeping her voice quiet in his ear.

Oliver turned his head slightly, and she pressed her lips to his temple. “What do you want to know?” He asked, a sweet smile pulling at his mouth as her lips explored his cheek.

“I want to know about the good days.” She whispered. “I hate thinking that you were in pain for so long. I want to hear a good story. You must have some, after all that time you still came home a good man. What kept you going?” Oliver reached the other side of the stream and eased them back onto dry ground. Felicity wiggled a bit, trying to get down.

Oliver gripped her legs, continuing to carry her. “There was a while, after I met Shado and Slade, when things seemed relatively normal. As normal as you could imagine being stranded on a deserted island could be. Slade trained me. Shado…helped me to be a better person. They both taught me a lot about life. Not just how to survive, but how to thrive. By the time I saw Sara again, I felt like a different person. Less selfish…because of them. I was happy when I found Sara. Really happy. It was a piece of home. The smallest taste of why I wanted to live to see my family again. Later on; meeting Tatsu, Maseo and their son Akio. Living in their home made me realize something that I had lost…what family feels like. Those moments kept me from becoming a monster. My time away wasn’t always bad. It just always ended that way. I can’t think about the good memories without thinking about the rest of it. Shado’s death, what happened to the Yamashiro family. Slade. Everything that Sara has been through. My part in all of it.”

“I’m sorry, Oliver…” She held onto him a little tighter. “We don’t need to talk about this right now.”

“No, it’s okay,” he said, reaching the top of a steep hill and helping her down. Oliver touched her face, giving her a small smile. “I want you to tell you about it. I haven’t exactly been…the most _open_ person, but I want to be honest with you. And I want to know about the things that you’ve been through, too. I want…” he let out a breath, glancing away, “I just want everything with you, Felicity.”

Felicity sucked on her bottom lip, staring up at him, “ _Everything_?” She asked, her voice timid.

Oliver chuckled nervously, “Was that a little too forward?” Felicity reached for his hand, shaking her head. “At the risk of complete humiliation…I just want you to know that I plan on having you fall senselessly in love with me, because I’m already very much in love with you.”

Felicity laughed, “Well, you’ve set the bar pretty low, since you’ve already accomplished that. A long time ago.”

Oliver raised an eyebrow, and then he leaned forward until his lips were at her ear, “That’s just step one. I can move on to step two now…good to know.”

Her breath caught in her throat, escaping in a laugh that sounded as nervous as she felt. “What’s step two?”

“Showing you that being senselessly in love with me is so good…you want it for the rest of your life.”

His mouth ran over her ear, his voice low and suggestive. Felicity held her breath as he ran his nose across her skin, his soft breath touching her face. She fought the urge to jump on him. When he pulled away, he smiled at her, arrogant and pleased with himself, but also truly happy in a way that she wasn’t used to seeing quite yet. And she wouldn’t mind spending some time getting him to smile like that more often. “You’re doing a pretty good job at it.” She whispered.

Oliver kissed her once, “Come on, we’re almost to the top.”

“How do you know?” She mumbled, “All I see is trees and rocks.”

Oliver chuckled, “Hiking was your idea, baby.”

Felicity hesitated, thrown off for a moment by the term, but then a smile spread across her face, and she rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Hiking. Not _running_.”

He laughed again, “Okay, okay, we’ll slow down. I’d like to make it back before it gets dark, though.”

Felicity scoffed, “I want to be back before happy hour.”

Oliver had a harder time moving slowly, as it seemed to make him even more anxious. And it didn’t help when she tripped and stabbed her hand on a tree branch. He cleaned it out and bandaged her up, but it upset him more than it did her. He kissed her palm, “It’s right around the corner?” He whispered, locking his eyes on hers, looking for assurance that she was fine.

Felicity rolled her eyes playfully, “ _How_ do you know?” She asked again.

He shrugged, smirking as he guided her further up the trail. “I can feel it.” She could tell that the air had gotten thinner since they started on the trail that morning, but aside from the occasional clearing with a pretty view, all she could see was the forest that surrounded them, and the steady, sometimes difficult incline of the path.

She didn’t feel like talking as she followed him, but she started to feel excited. She wasn’t entirely sure if it was to see the view at the top of the mountain or to finally be done the uphill hike, but she caught her second wind as they climbed. “What the-” she said, nearly slamming into Oliver’s back when he stopped. She stepped around him, taking in the massive view of mountains and clouds in front of them. “Wow.”

She was glad that the view was worth it; because it felt like they were on the top of the world. Oliver appreciated it, too. The most relaxed he’d been all day. She loved the look on his face as he scanned the mountains like they were beautiful and not coverage for his enemies. He kissed her on top of that mountain, and flagged down another hiker to take their picture. He enjoyed it. He lived in the moment. He wasn’t weighted down by impossible decisions or pain.

The trip down was much easier, but Oliver still tensed at every sound in the woods. She was surprised and fascinated by it on some level, because sometimes his head would snap up or in a certain direction as if he’d heard something, but all she could hear were birds and the sound of her own feet.

When they finally reached the car, Felicity felt exhausted, but proud. Her body ached in the best way. She understood why people challenged themselves like that, why the view at the top was always so rewarding. And despite her screaming muscles, she wanted to conquer another mountain soon, hoping to help Oliver overcome his fears, too.

She groaned as she sat down in the passenger seat of their rental, and Oliver rubbed her thigh with one hand, starting the car with the other. “You must be hungry.” He said.

Felicity nodded, “Can we just get something quick, shower, and go to bed?”

Oliver smiled over at her as he drove, one hand on the wheel and the other on her leg. “No happy hour?”

“I’ve changed my mind. I want bed.”

“How about takeout, showers, and a massage first. Then bed.” He said, glancing down at his hand in her lap and frowning. “I can feel how tight your muscles are already. That’s really going to hurt tomorrow.”

Felicity laughed, reaching down to hold his hand. “You’re perfect, do you know that?” Oliver threw her a look and snorted. But he relaxed into the seat, a peaceful look on his face. Felicity couldn’t stop watching him. The corner of his mouth twitched, a content smile pulling at his lips. And his eyes softened as he watched the road, the expression in them beautiful and mesmerizing and everything that she’d fallen in love with. “I love you.” She mumbled.

Oliver glanced at her, seeing it in her eyes as much as she was feeling it. She was crazy about him, and she knew that it was all over her face. He smiled back, touching her cheek before he brought her hand to his lips, kissing it and turning his eyes back to the road. Felicity let out a shaky breath. “I love _you_.” He whispered.

Watching as he lowered her hand back into her lap, Felicity shook her head. He was well on his way to his goal of making her think about words like _forever_. His attentiveness was intoxicating; the way every part of him just seemed to focus on her. Whatever she was saying or doing, he wanted to hear it. He genuinely cared about everything she said. Getting lost in that, being near that feeling for the rest of her life didn’t sound bad at all. She laughed once, and he looked at her, “What?”

She shook her head, “Nothing.”

Her legs screamed in protest when she got out of the car, and she stretched, glaring at him for barely even feeling it while she hurt all over. Walking to their suite helped a little, but she was eager to take a hot shower.

Oliver ordered Chinese food while she showered, and by the time she was finished letting the hot water sooth her muscles, the smell of it filled their suite. She opened the door, “That smells like heaven,” she groaned, finishing the braid she was making out of her wet hair as she crossed the room. Oliver looked up at her from the kitchen area, taking out the boxes and getting plates from the cupboard. His eyes roamed her, as they always did, from her bare feet, to her panda print pajama pants, to her tank top, to her hair.

“Come eat,” He said, waving chop sticks at her.

Felicity obliged, sitting down on a stool while he put a plate in front of her. She waited until he was sitting beside her, and then she dug in. Oliver chuckled, “You act like I’ve been starving you.”

“It feels like you have.” She teased, nudging her elbow into his side.

“Ow,”

Rolling her eyes and finishing her eggroll, she intertwined her fingers with his, humming softly as she ate, holding his hand like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Oliver stood up. He tossed her braid over her back and then kissed her shoulder, moving his mouth along her skin until he reached her neck, nestling her in a ticklish spot that he’d been very pleased to discover. Felicity laughed, and Oliver sighed. “God, I love that sound.” he murmured, moving his mouth to her cheek. He pressed another kiss there.

Felicity was still giggling as she watched him head for the bathroom. She cleaned up their plates, washing them in the sink and tossing the empty takeout boxes in the trash. And then she collapsed onto the bed, listening to the sound of the running water as Oliver showered. She smiled to herself in contentment, settling her head on the pillow and closing her eyes, hoping Oliver still planned on that massage.

She drifted asleep, but wasn’t disappointed when she woke up to his fingers on her shoulder. She let out a satisfied moan, “Of course you’re perfect at massages too.” She grumbled, her voice sleepy, not wanting to open her eyes.

Oliver kissed her ear and whispered, “Lay back.” She followed his instructions, getting comfortable on her stomach as his hands soothed the muscles in her back. She whimpered as he worked out the knots in her shoulders, and sighed when he finished it by kissing each spot. After a few minutes, she turned over, peeking up at him and smiling.

“Thank you,” she said, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. Oliver nodded, leaning down to kiss her. He tasted like their shared mint toothpaste, his lips becoming so familiar to her.

Getting close to someone, familiar with them, was usually when she ran. But every day she spent with him only made her feelings stronger. Each second made her crave more. She couldn’t get enough of him. Oliver kissed the corner of her mouth, “Sleep, Felicity.” He mumbled, playing with her braid again.

She shook her head, “Your turn.” Oliver hesitated, opening his mouth. She raised an eyebrow, “What? You don’t think I know how to use my fingers? My keyboard would disagree with that, Oliver.”

Oliver laughed. A real laugh; one that never failed to make her giggle along with it, her heart feeling lighter. “No, Felicity,” he said, shaking his head down at her, “I know how well you can use your fingers.”

Felicity rolled her eyes, “Good one,”

“You kind of walked into it.” He teased, tugging on her braid.

Felicity pushed him until he laid on his back, and then she crawled on top of him. She’d seen his scars a million times, but it always took her breath away a little bit. For someone who had been through some of the ugliest tortures, he was the most beautiful person she’d ever met. She ran her hands over his chest, her fingers gliding over the protruding marks. Oliver wiggled underneath her, and she glanced up at him. She hadn’t had much time to appreciate him like this yet, since every time they got into a bed together, she could only focus on how he _felt_. “Felicity…” Oliver said, gently nudging her, pushing her hips to move off him.

She shook her head, pressing her hands on his chest. Felicity leaned forward, kissing the scar from Ra’s sword. Oliver let out an uneven breath, and she pulled back to look at him. He just stared up at her, his expression unreadable, so she moved her mouth over his skin, kissing each scar. She skated her fingers over the shark bite on his hip and cringed. “Felicity…” he said again, “You don’t…you don’t have to touch them.”

Felicity cocked her head to the side, “What do you mean?”

He wiggled again, glancing away from her, “I usually just try to pretend they aren’t there.”

Felicity nodded once, chewing on her lip. “Well I think you’re beautiful.” She blurted.

Oliver lifted his chin, laughing once, “I can’t say I’ve ever been called beautiful before.”

“You are,” she said slowly, looking back down at his chest. Her hands roamed over his body, exploring every inch that she could see. “I understand why you would ignore your scars,” she shook her head, “But all I see when I look at them is how strong you are…how much you’ve survived.” She slid her index finger over the scar from Ra’s again, “I almost lost you that day,” she whispered, “And this reminds me that I never want to…how lucky I am to have you here with me now.”

Oliver sighed, holding on to her hips as he closed his eyes and laid back. “I’m not going anywhere, Felicity.”

She nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. Felicity ran her fingers over his chest, arms, and stomach, rubbing his neck and shoulders and watching as his face relaxed, his mouth opening and his features smoothing. “I’m sorry for the things that you’ve been through.” She whispered. Oliver opened his eyes to look up at her. “And I’m sorry that today brought some of that to the surface.”

He shook his head, “I spent the day with you, Felicity. All day. Just you. It was worth it. It’s always going to be worth it.”

“I wish I knew you back then,” she sighed, leaning down until her head was nestled into the crook of his neck. She straightened her legs and Oliver spread his, making room for her. “Maybe I could have helped you.”

He brought his arms around her, sighing as he rested his head against the pillows. She rested hers on his chest, and he ran his fingers through her hair. “I saw you once.” He whispered, combing his fingers over her scalp and listening to her soft breaths. “I came back to Starling and I was in QC. I screwed with their systems, and you came upstairs to check on it.”

Felicity lifted her head up to give him a confused stare. “When?” She asked, her brow furrowing as she placed her chin on her hand, flattened over his chest.

He glanced down at her, at her curious blue eyes. “2009.” He answered, “You had just graduated MIT and shocked Queen Consolidated when you applied for a job at the IT department. They offered you a higher ranking and higher paycheck, but you declined. Still, the company relied on you constantly.”

“I wanted a job that was safe. Boring. After Cooper.” She shrugged. Then her eyes flew to his, “How did you know all of that?”

Oliver bit his lip, finding her hands and playing with her fingers over his chest. “I wondered about you a lot after that night. You talked to my picture. Called me cute,” he teased, smirking at her.

Felicity just stared at him. “How have you never told me about this before? That you saw me?”

“I liked to create this life for you in my head. It made me feel better, to imagine this girl that I’d only gotten a glimpse of, living a perfect and happy life. Whenever things in my own life got bad while I was away, I would just tune out…think about you.”

Felicity raised an eyebrow, and Oliver sighed, realizing that he was admitting something to her that he had vowed to himself he’d never speak out loud. “I imagined that you were engaged, with a fiancé who worshiped you and the strange way you talk to yourself. He always had to cook because you, no matter how hard you tried, couldn’t even make toast.” He chuckled. “You had three dogs, all of which you brought home from an animal shelter that your fiancé begged you to stop going to because he couldn’t handle you coming home with any more dogs. You called your parents every day. You had a weekly standing date with your best friend from college, who you got mad at if she ever cancelled. You got lost in libraries. You were always late for work, but you never made an effort to wake up earlier because you loved to sleep in.”

Felicity’s eyes were wide as she listened. “You’re kidding.”

Oliver sat up, “I’m freaking you out, aren’t I? I’m freaking you out.”

“No,” she laughed, “no, no, no. It’s just…Why didn’t you ever tell me all of this?”

“I looked you up as soon as I came home. The _first_ thing I did, actually…” He whispered. “I was ecstatic to learn that you still worked at my family’s company. I started planning how I was going to talk to you. Your life wasn’t what I imagined,” he shrugged, “But that really wasn’t the point. Thinking about you made _my_ days easier. And then I realized that I shouldn’t involve you. That it would be selfish. I wanted to keep you out of it. And…I was a little nervous to actually meet you. I wanted you as far away from me as possible.” He sighed, “Until I didn’t.”

“What made you change your mind?” She asked.

“Walter.”

Felicity made a face, “Walter?” Then she laughed. “What on earth did Walter have to do with it?”

“He came home one day…and he just couldn’t stop talking about you. _Ranting_ , actually. About this brilliant girl in the IT department who had saved the company numerous times but refused to accept a higher paying position in the company. I knew that he had to mean you. But I asked him what your name was anyway, and when he told me, ‘ _Felicity Smoak_ ’” Oliver imitated Walter’s accent, and Felicity giggled. “I could tell how much he appreciated you. Even when he was seething, he couldn’t help but respect you. I wanted you to make me feel like that. Walter made me realize that you-” Felicity pressed her lips to his, cutting him off as she adjusted herself above him.

Oliver laughed against her mouth, “I should have told you that story sooner, apparently.”

“Oliver. You just told me that you’ve been thinking about me since the year I graduated college.” She smirked, “How else would I respond?”

“This is good,” he said, sitting up so his chest was pressed against hers. He looked up at her, “I like this.”

The urgency drifted as he spoke slowly, his body lifting to meet hers at the same languid pace. When his lips touched hers again, the need to rush was completely gone. She tasted him, reveling in the way her skin felt like it was on fire against the heat of his body. Oliver lifted his hips, picking her up from where she sat on him. He slid himself back against the headboard, and she smiled down at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She peppered his face with kisses, from his hair, to his temple, to his chin, listening to his pleased sigh. “My life hasn’t always been happy, Felicity.” He whispered.

 “Sometimes I felt like the darkness of it all was consuming me. Daydreaming about you saved me in those moments. But meeting you, getting to know you and realizing who you really are; it was so much better.” He stared up at her, “You’re my silver lining, Felicity.” Oliver shrugged, “You’ve always made my life better...when the darkness felt like it was too much...there you were. You’ve made me feel like I’m worth something. Like...I could be saved. Like I was worthy of redemption. You've never looked at me like I'm a monster."

Felicity shook her head. "Because you're not." She said confidently.

Oliver smiled. "I care about you so much, and I love you for all of that and so much more. I did then, I do now, and I always will.”

Felicity put her forehead against his. "Then, now, always..." she whispered. "I like the sound of that." She closed her eyes, feeling more loved than she ever had in her life, and wanting to revel in it. She ran her fingers over his ears and hair, wondering for the millionth time since she’d known him how he was so sweet after the world tried to turn him into a monster. The idea that she had something to do with it made her heart ache and heal all at once.

She loved that man. Deeply and senselessly. “What would you think about finding a different place to stay?”

His eyebrows furrowed at the change in conversation, and she kissed his forehead. “Where to next, Ms. Smoak? I’ll follow you anywhere.”

Felicity smiled, running her lips over his, his eyelids fluttering shut. She rubbed her nose against his and hummed. “I was thinking somewhere a little more permanent. A house, maybe. A quiet neighborhood. Somewhere peaceful. _Normal_.”

Oliver’s eyes opened slowly and he met her gaze. He opened his mouth. Then he closed it. Finally, he shifted his weight, “Are you asking me to move in with you?” She nodded slowly, her nose rubbing against his again.

Oliver gripped her hips, closing his eyes. “ _Oh_ ,” he sighed. And then a smile lit up his face. The one that made her heart want to jump out of her chest. He kept his eyes closed, his eyebrows raising in the most adorable way as her nose and hands grazed him. “That sounds a little like…you’re senselessly in love with me and it’s so good that you want it for the rest of your life.”

Felicity laughed, tugging gently on his hair, “Don’t tease me unless you’re saying yes.”

Oliver opened his eyes, and with the proximity, all she could see was the blue calmness behind his gaze. “Of course I’m saying yes. I would love that, Felicity.” He said.

“You really meant all of that? You thought about me?” She asked, her hands sliding down his neck to his shoulders.

Oliver raised an eyebrow, “I’ve been enamored by you since the second I saw you, baby.” He answered, and she let out a low moan, her hands sliding to graze his chest. Oliver chuckled, “Does that turn you on, Felicity Smoak?” He mumbled, his voice teasing as he leaned forward to nip at her neck.

“Maybe,” She breathed, moving her hips, rocking closer to him.

Oliver chuckled, “Well, Felicity, if you want to move into the suburbs with me, you might have to work on controlling your volume when you…you know…I wouldn’t want our neighbors to hate us as soon as we move in.”

Leaning back, Felicity narrowed her eyes at him, “You’ve already been looking at houses, haven’t you?”

“Maybe,” he breathed, his voice just as eager as hers, despite his teasing.

Felicity laughed, wrapping both of her arms around his neck and pulling herself tightly against him. She ran her fingers through his hair, drawing his mouth to hers. “Okay. So where are we going?”


End file.
